The Chairman's Challenge for November was suggested by Darren and he had the job of judging them.
The subject was 'Take a cliche and make it interesting and different.'
1st - Mary Braddock
Fred had always lavished attention on his half-acre lawn. It resembled a billiard table, fifteen years of mowing, rolling and fertilising had created a project described by many as “the bowling green”. But that was to change when, for eight mornings in a row Fred was confronted by several small, neat, earthy mounds. On the ninth day he woke to find yet another fresh pyramid of soil. He was furious and reached for the phone. Three weeks later Fred took delivery of four lorry loads of finest Scottish granite. When the landscaping was complete, Fred had successfully made a mountain out of a molehill.
2nd - Mike White
The Five Ages of Man
The bonny baby, cherub of a man,
Becomes obese before he leaves the pram.
Noisy Kids, they whine and mither,
I don’t want to see them either.
Pull up my socks? said Dora with a frown,
They’d rather watch me take my stockings down.
To stiffen upper lip and keep straight face,
Inject with Botox – I know just the place.
It’s hard, now that my back’s begun to bend
To light the candle even at one end.
3rd - Julie Phillips
Spitting Feathers
“Don't exceed the recommended amount of ingredient, fallen from a chicken's oviduct for the custard,” Sally clucked, preening her plumage. “You'll never find enough; they're as scarce as a chuck's molar. The pudding will be fine without them.”
“But, but, but, it's egg custard!” Anna pecked. “At least I don't store my entire stock of completely balanced, nutritious miracles of life in one Tesco's bag for life.”
“ It's like traversing crushed calcium carbonate crystals here! But remember, although we 're cracked from the same shell, I'm first in the pecking order,” Sally flapped.
It's a shame that this poultry disagreement has caused so much dishevelled down in the Fowler Coop.
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