The Chairman's Challenge for January was Recycling and it was judged by Mike White. As usual the given subject matter was interpreted in many and varied ways.
1st - Julie Phillips
Put your rubbish in the bin
except for paper, card and tin.
Bin men won't collect my plastic,
wrapping paper or elastic.
This goes here and that goes where?
No room for error, if you dare
put a bottle in the bin,
you'll burn in hell for your sin!
I know we have to save the earth,
honour the land of our birth.
To cut emissions is the plan,
our legacy to future man.
But all the rules they drive me crazy,
insinuate I'm dim and lazy.
I don't need the threat of court,
just less packaging on what I've bought.
©Julie Phillips 2009
except for paper, card and tin.
Bin men won't collect my plastic,
wrapping paper or elastic.
This goes here and that goes where?
No room for error, if you dare
put a bottle in the bin,
you'll burn in hell for your sin!
I know we have to save the earth,
honour the land of our birth.
To cut emissions is the plan,
our legacy to future man.
But all the rules they drive me crazy,
insinuate I'm dim and lazy.
I don't need the threat of court,
just less packaging on what I've bought.
©Julie Phillips 2009
2nd - Brenda Carter
Now I have been recycled to this point I want to win: the time for glory is imminent.
Here’s my autobiography. From humble origins I grew green and straight. I was mowed and made hay for horses. The dark days of my career inside were unpleasant but the sun shone at the other end. I was piled up, collected, spread about. I helped make a King Edward, such privilege!
I was dug up, sold, bought and proudly became part of a Gratin Dauphinois. For the ignorant that’s potato cake.
I’m through to the final. I want to win Master Chef.
Here’s my autobiography. From humble origins I grew green and straight. I was mowed and made hay for horses. The dark days of my career inside were unpleasant but the sun shone at the other end. I was piled up, collected, spread about. I helped make a King Edward, such privilege!
I was dug up, sold, bought and proudly became part of a Gratin Dauphinois. For the ignorant that’s potato cake.
I’m through to the final. I want to win Master Chef.
Copyright © 2009 Brenda Carter
3rd - Darren Bailey
Green Robot Patrol
“Let go you metal maniac!” her wrist was reddening from her struggles against the robot’s grip. She screamed as metal fingers ripped a hair from her head then lifted a baked bean tin from the pile.
“Beep. The DNA test confirms that this is yours.”
The inside of the tin was discoloured with bean juice and there were several beans clinging to the bottom.
“This is your first offence.” It dragged the sobbing woman down the road as it announced. “This woman will serve two months hard labour at the landfill reclamation scheme, for not properly preparing her recycling.”
Copyright © 2009 by Darren Bailey
Every year we publish all our Chairman's Challenges in our anthology. If you'd like to read more you can find back copies on our website
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